Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs our way, which can leave anybody feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, and unsure of how to move forward. Whether it’s a career-ending injury, the loss of a loved one, an unplanned pregnancy, or job loss, facing such significant life events can be daunting. I learned early in life that while we may not always have control over unexpected life events or what happens to us, we do have the power to choose how we respond.
When I was a junior in high school, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Him getting sick was so weird considering who he was and how active he was: my dad worked out every day, ate well and was active in our community as a full-time teacher, a basketball coach, and an NBA scout. While my family and I did all that we could to support him through surgeries, treatments and more, I put a lot of pressure on myself to also keep my grades up and perform on the court. I didn’t want to give up my goal of earning that DI scholarship. It was one of the hardest times in my life. If you’re experiencing something that has flipped your world upside down, here are some coping strategies to help navigate through unexpected life events.
How Athletes Can Navigate Life’s Curveballs
Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings: When faced with a sudden life event, it’s normal to experience a range of emotions, including shock, grief, anger, sadness, or anxiety. Allow yourself to acknowledge and accept these feelings without judgment. Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise, knowing that it’s a natural part of the healing process. This might be really challenging, especially when your ‘priority’ might mean getting things done on the court or on the field. Just know that you won’t be able to perform at your best long term if you try to push aside those feelings.
Find a Support System: Reach out to friends, family members, or trusted individuals who can offer emotional support and understanding during this challenging time. Joining a support group, a club on campus, or programs through your church can help provide a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
Take Time to Grieve and Heal: Healing takes time, and it’s essential to give yourself permission to grieve the loss or change that has occurred in your life. My junior and senior years of high school were so hard, and looking back I know I should’ve done more to prioritize my mental health. Allow yourself to mourn the loss of what was and gradually transition into accepting the new reality. Be patient with yourself and prioritize self-care activities that promote healing and emotional well-being.
Focus on What You Can Control: While some aspects of unexpected life events may be beyond your control, focus on what you can control in the present moment. Take proactive steps to address practical concerns, and take action where you can. When my dad was going through multiple surgeries and treatment, he strongly encouraged us to keep playing and working hard in to school. By ‘taking care of business on the court’ he would say, we had a healthy outlet to help us get through the worst days, and helped us gain a feeling of empowerment when so much felt out of our control.
Seek Professional Guidance: If you’re really struggling to cope with the aftermath of an unexpected life event, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance from therapists, counselors, or mental health professionals. They can provide valuable support, coping strategies, and therapeutic interventions to help you navigate through the emotional and psychological impact of the event.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you navigate through this difficult time. Avoid self-blame or unrealistic expectations, and instead, offer yourself kindness, understanding, and self-care. Find activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and comfort, which might mean spending time outside, catching up with friends, or binge watching your favorite show. Just make sure you are kind to yourself.
Maintain Open Communication: Communication is key in times of crisis or transition. Keep lines of communication open with loved ones, employers, healthcare providers, and other relevant individuals involved in your life. Express your needs, concerns, and preferences openly and honestly, and don’t hesitate to ask for help or support when needed.
Set Realistic Goals and Priorities: During periods of upheaval, it’s essential to reassess your goals and priorities in light of the new circumstances. Set realistic and achievable goals that align with your current capabilities, resources, and values. Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each milestone as you progress forward.
Practice Gratitude and Resilience: This can be really hard, especially when what’s happening to you or someone you love isn’t fair. An attitude of gratitude and resilience can help you navigate through life’s unexpected challenges. Focus on the blessings, lessons, and opportunities that arise amidst adversity. Draw strength from past experiences of resilience and adaptability, knowing that you have the inner resources to overcome obstacles and emerge stronger on the other side.
Stay Hopeful and Optimistic: While unexpected life events may bring temporary setbacks or hardships, it’s important to maintain a sense of hope and optimism for the future. Believe in your ability to overcome adversity, adapt to change, and create new possibilities for yourself. When I felt at my worst from watching my dad’s journey and watching other family members get sick, I tried to remind myself that things have to get better. I didn’t know how, but I knew in some way, they’d have to get better.
Unexpected life events can be daunting, especially when you work so hard to achieve something so important (a scholarship, a job, a family, etc.). However, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in your journey. Practicing self-care and focusing on what you can control are just a few ways to navigate through life’s curveballs with resilience, grace, and strength. 20 years later, after many surgeries and treatments, my dad beat his cancer and continues to a very active life. Even though he’s officially retired, he’s busier than I am! He works out daily, serves as a dean of students, and travels to Big-12, semi-pro and professional basketball games, year-round. My journey in watching him thrive taught me to be patient with myself, embrace the healing process, and trust in my ability to overcome any adversity that comes my way